The Decade of Divorce
When the painful reality sets in…
It seems more and more that we are coming upon the inevitable. That dreaded decade of divorce. When once we pranced around as young budding women pairing off with our forever and planning to live happily ever after. We have now begrudgingly come to the point in our lives, when it’s time to unpair, for many. We think it’s a cliché and that it won’t happen to anyone we know, until it does. Some begin to chase those forgotten dreams. Seek that new sensation. The painful reality sets in, that sometimes we don’t live happily ever after. So, then what?
Here is an example of but one friend who sees the pain in her sister’s heart, and has things to say to her, but knows her place, and doesn’t say a word. The burning question is, should she?
Seline lives inside mansion walls, facing a luxurious garden, but her home is as empty as her vacant soul. Her husband never comes home. Her childhood friend, Sam, ponders whether to send Seline this letter she has written:
Dear Seline,
It’s time. It’s been time for a long time. Saying yes when you really mean no is like cutting your soul with a tiny razor. Do you really think you’re different from other women who cut from the outside? No, it’s even worse because no one can see your physical pain. Although yours may be invisible, the well of blood goes deeper.
Saying ‘yes’ when you don’t want to makes you cooperative chattel. Saying ‘okay’ when he abandons you on holidays is a disinheritance of your own Queendom. Because after all, if you can’t be a Queen on your own turf, who are you really? And is the life you are living truly yours?
We pity soldiers taking orders from lieutenants, yet we are taking orders from people around us all the time – violent terrorists in our own homes – who we worship merely by saying ‘yes, okay, fine, I’ll do it, it’s for the children.’ The irony is that your children can see the tragedy in your eyes. Your children can sniff the disgust in your heart. Your children can hear your soul vomiting. Your children. Your children. Oh, your sweet, sweet children.
And what about YOUR own inner child? When do you plan to cater to HER? You left her abandoned at nightfall by a swing tied to an oak tree and you never came back. She sat there, in her pretty dress, caressing sunflowers as she swung. Then the skies turned murky gray when she realized you’re not coming back to get her.
Leave him. Leave the institutions that say divorce is a sin. Leave the friends that only recognize you as a married entity. Leave the mansion that carries nothing but sadness. Leave the rooms that hold nothing but lies. Leave the version of yourself that you created to survive this monster. BUT, BY GOD, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOURSELF.
Love, Sam
Have you ever written a letter to a friend that you never sent? Have you ever had things in your heart that you never shared, because it’s not your place? Share your insights, dear reader, so that we may all learn from each other’s experiences!
Written by: Mary Terterov
Introduction & Editing by: Tina Esrailian