To Conceive or Not To Conceive
That is the question!
Great marriage. No kids. Her dilemma? … to conceive or not to conceive … that is her question! Tick tock, make that uterus rock. Boy meets girl. Egg meets sperm. Simple, right? Wrong! Kelsey is out of the closet, the procreation closet that is.
Openly in the “undecided camp,” she admits she’s on the cusp. On November 17, 2018, Kelsey sends me (and a ton of other women) a ballsy email titled “Your Life Choices. LOL”. What’s in there? Four questions that will change the trajectory of her life forever. Drum roll please…LOUDER…okay, here we go…
The Kelsey Survey:
1) If you decided to have kids, why?
2) If you decided not to have kids, why?
3) How did you reach that decision?
4) Did you ever change from one position to another? If so, what happened / why?
Sitting in my Encino office with a 2-year-old at home, I breathe in and stare into oblivion. An awkward (yet insightful) epiphany starts unraveling. It occurs to me I’ve never “decided” to have kids. Nor have I ever activated a process to “reach” a decision. I wonder, aren’t we all the byproduct of a well-oiled machine operated by society? Isn’t everyone else on autopilot like me? Apparently not!
So here it is. The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help us moms! The BIGGEST SURPRISE this survey revealed was that women who chose to be childless were more deliberate in their decision-making process than women who had children.
Top 3 reasons women decided to be mothers:
1. FOMO (fear or missing out)
2. Fear marriage would go stale
3. Societal pressures
Top 3 reasons women decided NOT to be mothers:
1. Desire for autonomy
2. Finances
3. Mental health issues
The major takeaway is that motherhood is both innate and learned. And in the end, we’re all mothers … mothering ourselves, mothering our friends, mothering our own mothers, and mothering each other throughout life.
My dear beautiful reader, I’d love to hear your thoughts and reflections on this issue! Do it! Drop me a comment below (option to stay anonymous)…